Today was the very last Sunday service for 2013. The service was a little different than usual. We didn't have any of our keyboard players there this morning so we sang to prerecorded music. But even the order of service went a little differently, it's nice to have a little change from time to time. I knew from the start that Daniel was going to be giving a first word. Daniel told me Saturday night, but little did I know until right before service, that Pastor was going to have me testify. Boy were my nerves shot then. In my head I'm thinking "what do I say, what if I cry? Ew I have an ugly crying face, so if I do cry that'll be embarrassing!" and on and on. But Pastor got before the congregation and asked that we start out service different that normal, and worship God without music, thanking him for all that he has done for saving us and molding us. What a powerful worship we had, you could feel as God entered into the sanctuary. Then we sang and worshipped more, and following worship Pastor talked a little and then the first word was given. And there the testimony service began. We were asked to reflect on the last year and tell of what God has done for us, he wasn't going to beg us or call us out(unless he really wanted us to share.) Sis Kristen stood up, Amber stood up, and right before I could get enough nerve to stand up, my Pastor looks at me and says "Sis Rachel please share with us your testimony." So I stood up, and shared my testimony with the congregation... I was a little lengthy(I got teased about it later by Daniel.) I have a very lengthy testimony and I think I'm going to use this to share my testimony, my full testimony.
I grew up in a loving home, with both a mom and dad, two older sisters. We went to church and had dinner together and did what families do(I really don't remember too much of my younger years) But I do know that I was blessed. Somewhere around 13 I met some friends and we tested the limits and got into trouble. I wasn't sure who I was but I was determined to figure it out. I knew that I wore skirts and had long hair, and never really knew why.. so I stopped wearing skirts. No one at school did so I didn't want to either, it wasn't cool! So my life got challenging. Friends at both school and some at church, were influencing my life in many new ways. Which was exciting, nonetheless. My mom moved me to different schools each year and somehow I always found trouble. My influence of friends always overpowered who I was, and who God wanted me to be. Which was always the case.. Every year between the school years, I'd always get fired up about God through camp meetings and spending more time with church people than with school people but then the summer would fade and I'd find some new friends to hang with that I'd allow to decide who I was.
My mom was always there for me, she was my backbone and who I leaned upon. I knew I always had my mom. The poor woman put up with a lot more than I bet she bargained for. She stayed up many nights praying over me. I remember a time when I was in trouble for something I did, and she smacked, hit, kicked at me as well as prayed, cried and swore at me... it was a moment I could never forget. I still to this day don't recall what I did, But I bet you I never did it again!!
Somewhere around eleventh grade I mellowed out. My grandfather passed away right as school began and life began to mean a little more to me. I was still unsure of who I was, but I was finally in a good school with friends that were focused on school and not other things. Not to mention it was a christian school, so there was a level of Christian mindedness. I even signed a song and gave a word to my school for a chapel. The school year came just as fast as it went and summer came. I went on a missions trip and was touched by the lives of the people in Vietnam. How amazing it felt to serve people who had less than I, but were so thankful for what they had. I was humbled by the experience. I made it back to the states where I began a "new life" I was on fire for God. I was passionate and humbled. But I was about to start a new school, because my family moved to a new town while I was away. I started out the year strong but slowly lost sight of what I had gained in the last year. I met new people and once again felt the need to fit in. It was short lived though, after all it was my senior year in high school. And I started talking to a guy I was all googly eyed about for years! By the time I graduated we were dating and I was working in and with the youth and was a Sunday School teacher, like I had been since before my eleventh grade year. I spent almost every weekend of the summer following my graduation with him. He taught me how to love who I was and value the truth and he taught me how to love a man. Well, things got sour and a year went by and we broke up. I was hurt and crushed and my life felt like it was over. My mom was there to pick me up and dust me off and I went about my life. I redirected my attention to working and I began mentoring three beautiful girls, who became my reason for life! I loved being there for them. Seeing them in the altars and praying with and for them. I loved telling them what it is that really important and what to stay away from. I loved them, they were my little sisters. Somewhere, they decided to attend another church and I lost my girls. I was hurt again, but I knew God had a reason for all things. And that I can't fix people(a lesson that took at long time for me to learn) I also knew that they weren't mine, that they had to decide for themselves what they wanted to do, all I could do was pray. Shortly some other fellow came into my life, and I "fell in love" and got engaged and felt more alone in my life than I had ever felt. I lost all confidence in who I was as a person. My walk with God fell short, I just wasn't happy. He was mean and rude to my family as well as to me. I was deceived. Thankfully one day I ran into an old friend, and we began to talk and he asked me if I was happy, I of course told him I was.. but that question later rang in my head over and over... Was I happy? I remember riding in the car with my mom and realizing that he wasn't my future. That my future was going to be greater than what he could give me. And that I was worth so much more. So I ended it. And I couldn't have been more freer! I switched gears, and decided I wanted out! Out of Pennsylvania, I wanted to be where no one knew me and I didn't know them. Where no one had heard anything about me. I could write my own story if I so chose to. So I figured college was my best option and did my research and chose Virginia. Virginia Beach to be exact. Found a college, got accepted and moved here. Where I thought things would go a lot more smoothly than they did. I thought I'd find a church right away and get involved and do my school work and just be about my life. Well sometimes our plans aren't what really happens. I found a church but had no connections with anyone... So I stopped going. I went to school and came home, until I met a new friend.. and he consumed my life. Him and school and my dog. I spent almost everyday with him. Avoiding the real situation which was that I missed home, and my walk with God. I felt like I was doing alright and I was finally getting that new life that I wanted. Only to find out that he had received orders to Germany for 4 years. I was crushed.. he was all I knew, and I battled so hard. Pretending I was happy for him and trying to figure out what I was going to do. I settled that I was just going to move back home and finish my degree there. Well... the friendship died, and one day my mom told me I needed to get back in church, that she found two churches. January 27th 2013, I walked into my New Life for the first time! I finally found what I was looking for. I finally could become, not only who I was, but more importantly who God wanted me to be. Since entering into New Life, I have grown a deeper walk with God. I have found that there is nothing greater on this earth than to have a relationship with God. I have grown a great love for people, and ministry. And I met the love of my life, the true man God designed and picked for me.
I'm blessed beyond words to have been given a life filled with people who cared enough to always pray for me. I'm blessed to have been given a life that wasn't always easy(thanks to myself) but has taught me so much! I know that with everything I put myself through I can help someone else. I know that God doesn't let you go through any kind of trial without knowing about before you go through it. He gives you the strength every time. He sees your tomorrow before you even see today. I am so thankful for his great love, and hand that has always protected me, from harm and disease and everything! He kept me from a lot thanks to people who prayed, for a mother who prayed.
And that's my testimony.. there's so much more that I could share in it, so many little details that I'd be up all night typing. But the meat is there, even if you aren't getting the lettuce and tomatoes. It's been a wonderful life, and a blessed life. Its been a spectacular 2013! I can't wait to see what is in store for 2014! What a blessing it is to know and love a loving and all knowing God!
